Hi! I just wanted to say I love your account s…

Hi! I just wanted to say I love your account so much and although I'm agnostic I still understand that our community and the atheist community is portrayed so terribly in the media. I just wanted to ask, do you think it's ok to block a relative out of your life if they're being verbally abusive and tell you you're "going to hell" and that they hate you?? My gran has been doing this since I told her I was no longer a Christian. I used to look up to her too! She's also homophobic and I'm bi so…

Thank you so much for the feedback, thats what keeps me going!

Someone being related to you doesn’t make them any less toxic or any more worth your time. 

I know a lot of people are going to disagree with that, because some how DNA earns people more chances- I dont agree. If someone is consistently making you feel bad, uncomfortable, or anxious you have every right to kick them out of your life. 

You shouldn’t have to be degraded simply because you got a quarter of your DNA from her. 

My only suggestion(if it is safe to do so) is to talk to her about it first. If you can tell her, without endangering yourself, that the way she speaks to you and how she speaks about your beliefs isn’t acceptable and if it continues you will cut off contact, definitely go that route first. 

If it is not safe for you to do so, I say cut her off immediately. Verbal abuse is abuse, if someone asked you if it was okay to cut off a family member for any other type of abuse how would you respond? 

The only difference between verbal abuse and any other type of abuse is that sometimes they don’t realize what they’re doing(at least not to the extent that they are doing it) and it can be corrected with communication.

But, again, if anyone in your life is making you consistently feel bad, anxious, or uncomfortable, cut. them. off. Regardless of who they are. 

That goes for partners/lovers too.

And if you don’t know why/how said person is making you uncomfortable or anxious(but they are doing it) then you definitely need to take some space from them until you figure it out. 

No one gets a free pass to your life.