How is non-binary real? I’m not trying to start drama here, I’m literally asking. I wanna hear theories that make sense.
Alright lets do this- **disclaimer, I am not an expert and am very much still learning about gender myself ~ so please do correct/discuss my points so I can learn more**
First and foremost, the fact that we have binaries at all is kind of crazy. Even for sex.
We define the sex binary by a group of characteristics and then shove everyone into one box or the other regardless of if all of those things match:
Sex = genitals, chromosomes, secondary characteristics, and reproductive organs.
Not any one of them alone, and none of them are simply one or the other. Some people have genitals outside of the binary(developed differently than expected by the binary; both, none, something between). Hormones are the most complicated factor and often lead to or change all the other factors that we consider defining sex. Reproductive organs are not binary either because we have people with both, non-functioning, or organs formed differently than we expect from the binary. Chromosomes arent binary either, as we dont JUST have xx or xy, we have things like xo and xxxx etc.
So the question should actually be why are we trying to force everyone into a sex binary?
So thats sex, sex and gender arent the same thing but CAN overlap which is why I went into that first.
Now lets talk about gender.
We see gender as a set of characteristics, feelings, connections, experiences, etc that at one point we saw firmly tied to the sex binary(that, as previously stated, is in and of itself problematic).
Some people (binary aligned transgender individuals) realized that they did not fit the side of the binary a doctor assigned them upon one look to their genitals. They fit the other side of the binary. They ARE the other side of the binary.
But, there will always be people who dont quite fit into one or the other.
Cismen and women, usually(although some do question) know, feel connected, want to be seen as, and are happy with their body being the gender they were labeled under at birth.
Nonbinary individuals either dont feel a connection to either, or feel a connection to both. They dont feel right pretending that they fit into one side or the other of the binary. They are, in my opinion, a lot like intersex bodies when it comes to the sex binary. They sometimes have more parts then the gender binary, or less, or their gender is just formed differently than we consider in the binary.
They simply are not a boy or girl. Theyre not apart of the binary.