A lot of women I know are open and will share their stories of abuse, stalking, sexual assault and rape. They are strong, and you should listen.
But, that being said, a lot of women will speak up against rape culture or how prevalent this issue is in our society, and then be attacked or thoroughly questioned about their experiences. Assumptions made about what they have and have not experienced. Told that if they dont talk about their own experiences or share every detail of their story that its not happening.
It is happening. And there are women who do and have shared their stories. But the ones who dont are still allowed to talk about the problem. They dont owe you their story. You are not entitled to knowing the details of their darkest experiences. You are not entitled to details of any of their experiences.
Everyone should be talking about this problem, but just because they dont announce it or give details doesnt mean they havent experienced it.
My brother is an amazing conversationalist. He can make me consider things in ways I wouldnt of even thought of. He can make me question a stance I have held for years.
But sometimes, every once in a while, he says something that is so ignorant it makes my brain freeze.
We had a long car ride so we talked a lot. About everything. It was great.
He then brought up women responding differently to those they find attractive vs those they dont. While I agreed, there are definitely some instances where this is over the top and occurs, a lot of times what people take as rude to someone theyre not attracted to is actually fear of turning them down. Fear of the response if they have to say no. Fear of what happens if no doesnt work.
I brought up how were taught our whole lives how to avoid being kidnapped and raped by men. Its not every guys fault, but its every girls burden.
His response was “do you know how hard that is on men though? How much fear there is in being labled a creep? Girls are trained to find the bad in us”
Im sorry, but your fear of being seen as a creep is not the equivilant to my fear of being raped.
You mean you had to be extra polite and courteous to women so they wouldnt be afraid of you?
Well I had the same curfew when I was 18 that my 10 year old brother had.
You had to be extra cautious not to offend a girl? Well I wasnt allowed to go anywhere without some one else, ESPECIALLY not the bathroom.
I was trained to never be alone, if I think someones following me pretend im on the phone, check in every hour, and never walk on the side of the road where an idle vehicle is. Never be too forward or too reserved.
If you’re rude or too pushy you get labled a creep. If im rude or too pushy I get raped.
Its not the same thing.